Category Archives: Satire

Airline Wrestling Federation – Championship In-Flight Wrestling

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Dateline: The Not-So-Friendly Skies In a press release dated March 28, 2012, Airline Wresting Federation President & CEO, Pyle D. River and his promotions team of Hasker, Boyles, & Reuben, LLP announced the creation of a new entertainment conglomerate planning to bring world-class wresting to the skies and traveling fans of sports entertainment. It is…

New Healthy Food Standards for Airport Food Courts?

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First Lady, Michelle Obama, announced today her plans to tour the nations largest airports in an effort to draw attention to the menus being offered to our traveling public. As a follow-up to her recent efforts to draw attention to and improve the menus of public schools, Obama is endeavoring to carry this momentum to…

AccuConference-Air: An Open Invitation to Alec Baldwin

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Dear Mr. Baldwin, We were so sorry to hear about your unfortunate altercation with the flight crew of America Airlines Flight 4 that you attempted to use on Tuesday, December 6th. We at AccuConference-Air would like to extend to you an invitation to give us a try. Unlike that other carrier, our flight attendants won’t…

The TSA Security Questionnaire

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Welcome to Boston Logan International Airport. I’ll be your TSA Officer today and will be guiding this passenger security interview. I will be asking you questions and will be measuring your responses for physiological changes, eye contact, mood changes, response quality, creativity, and timeliness. Please use your time wisely to consider your best response, so…

Sag’n Bagi Jeans. Pants and Shorts that keep you flying …Low

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Finally, a response has come to the public outcry demanding a solution to our need to see less of the human buttocks while out among the masses. Sag’n Bagi Jeans is the new line of pants, jeans, and shorts, designed to meet the trends for today’s fashion-conscious youth with just a bit of compromise. I…

Passenger Rights Advocate Fights for Laptop Rights

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Getting through the security checkpoint at the airport is on most travelers’ minds these days. Many people experience discomfort when exposed to the search techniques employed by TSA personnel. Enhanced pat-downs that leave travelers feeling violated and scanning devices that create full-body images that leave only minutia to the imagination are being challenged across the…

Airports Announce New Fee to Support ATC Staffing Increases

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Washington DC – The FAA announced its plan today to increase staffing in flight towers from 1 to 2 air traffic controllers on overnight shifts. Due to President Obama’s budget proposal, which includes $775 mil in budget cuts, the necessary funds to accomplish these additions may have to come from the airports themselves. Taking a…

Welcome to Airport Camp

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Was your flight delayed by inclement weather? Maybe even cancelled? Well then, aren’t you the lucky traveler! Welcome to Airport Camp! That’s right, Airport Camp. At no extra cost, you get a fun and exciting evening of “camping” inside one of the busiest airports in the United States. Cozy up with other travelers sharing the…

The FAA Aircraft Lost & Found

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Dateline: December 10, 2010 The Federal Aviation Administration has released information detailing their new Aircraft Lost & Found initiative. This initiative was brought about when it became evident that much of the aircraft registration information had been lost or is incomplete on up to one third of the nation’s private aircraft fleet. This represents more…

Don’t body scan. Refrigi-Scan.

Don’t you just love when simple, tried and true technology works together with human nature to make our lives better? We certainly do. We are Refrigi-Tech Industries and as a leader in the manufacture/design of industrial grade appliances serving food manufacturers world-wide, we believe we have solved the problems of the security of our airports,…